September 8th: the Nativity of Mary, birthdays as a cloistered nun, and the generosity of God

Nativity of Mary

In Carmel, we didn’t celebrate each Sister’s individual birthday. We celebrated every Sister’s birthday on the Feast of the Nativity of the Blessed Virgin Mary. In many ways, September 8th became all of our birthdays, with our Blessed Mother. It was what we called a “recreation day”, meaning we would push the tables together in the refectory, decorate them with lace, fabrics, flowers, and Mother Prioress would have birthday gifts for each Sister laid out on a side table. We received them as gifts from our Blessed Mother. We ate cake, delicious meals, and listened to music and talked while eating together (normally a silence in kept at all meals, and the Sisters listen to some book or conference to be fed spiritually as they are being fed physically).

Gifts as a cloistered nun were simple, given the poverty we lived in. They usually entailed vintage holy cards (that were often stunning, with an occasional 1950s American-style Mary and Jesus), relics from Saints (I've never seen so many relics before in my life -- pieces of the habits of all kinds of Saints), small statues, booklets, etc., and a small "billet" as we called them on which was written a virtue or spiritual gift Mary wanted to give us. We all celebrated our birthdays on this beautiful Feast of our Mother to live out our imitation of her. We lived a life following the example of Mary in her hidden life with Christ, and so her birthday became ours. Through the rest of the day, as on all great Solemnities in the cloister, we loosened our simple silence and could talk as we pleased, we would only do necessary chores (think making meals, feeding the chickens, sweeping the choir), played yard games, listened to music, perhaps watched an old movie in the evening, all surrounding and between our times set aside for prayer which never changed.

The Nativity of the Blessed Virgin Mary, the birthday of Mary, is a Feast which draws us into remembrance of the generosity of God. This Feast is like a signal of the greatest gift that is coming, the Incarnation of Christ, the Son of God. Tradition tells us that Saint Anne and Joachim (the parents of Mary) were infertile and suffered in their desire for a child, for the Lord to hear their prayers. If you are in a place of waiting, of suffering as you hope and pray for a child, or a spouse, for the new job, healing from a place of pain or hurt in your story, or whatever it might be, this Feast Day is for you; to remind you of the fulfillment of the Lord and His generosity and love that is sometimes hidden or disguised as something we wouldn't have expected. The Lord purifies us in the waiting, in the longing. The pain of desire and "emptiness" carves out more space in our hearts for surrender, for trust in the Lord's goodness and His intentional plans for our lives. The ache leads us to deeper intimacy, if we bring it to Jesus. He sees you, and He knows the plans He has for you. In their old age, Anne and Joachim conceived Mary, the Imaculate Conception, soon to be the very Mother of the Christ. The Lord knew His plan, He never forgot or forsook them, but called them to be purified in their longing, only to fulfill it in a way more wondrous and mystical than they ever could've imagined. This fulfillment in their own story leads to the fulfillment of desire for all mankind, the Word of God becoming Flesh, dwelling among us, redeeming us, and calling us, His bride, to restored union and eternal life with Him. May we wait on, trust in, and follow the Lord in our waiting, trusting there will be fulfillment and purpose to our longing. May we unite ourselves more deeply to our Blessed Mother and her own response of generosity to the Lord, giving her whole self to Him and receiving Him so totally, perfectly, that He became flesh in her and was birthed into this world; Christ, our salvation, our redeemer, our Bridegroom. Perhaps today is a good day to present your own needs, desires, your hopes and longings before our beautiful Mother, asking her to intercede for you. Perhaps she wants to give you a gift on this great Feast.

In closing, I'll share one more story as a testament to these things I am writing...

3 years ago today, I met my now husband on the steps of the Cathedral of Our Lady of Lourdes after daily Mass. After being a cloistered nun, the pain of leaving and the confusion it wrought in my life, the purification the Lord brought me through in the following years, and a very tragic event that happened in my life only a few months prior to that day, the Lord knew His plans of fulfillment for me in that moment I met this young man for the first time, on the Feast of Nativity of Mary. I walked away thinking little of it, but in that young man's heart he knew he would marry me in the moment we met, and so the Lord began our story. My point is, the Lord is generous, loving, and He truly does know what He is about. You can trust Him, bring you longings to Him, and be assured that He will fulfill the deepest longings of your heart; but perhaps in a way you wouldn't have ever chosen for yourself or have expected.